A Spiritual and Sexual Awakening

I haven’t been ready to share this until now, and to be honest I’m not going to share the entire story with you, not yet. That said, I am ready to share now that I’ve been experiencing a sexual awakening during my spiritual awakening and kundalini awakening. I am experiencing an awakening of every part of me.

My sexual awakening and kundalini are intertwined. The sexual awakening began before the kundalini was initiated. I believe I would not have experienced the kundalini awakening without the sexual awakening. They are inextricably linked in my body, mind, and soul.

(Read more about my kundalini awakening here: An Awakening Within an Awakening Part 1 and An Awakening Within an Awakening Part 2)

Recently I learned that it’s not unusual to experience a sexual awakening or have a sexual or sensual component to an awakening. But I knew none of this when it started. It felt like I was dreaming the best dreams, the best daydreams, I’ve ever experienced. Tender, loving, and gentle, the energy was exactly what I needed. When it started though, I had no idea that’s what I needed, and I certainly had no idea what I was experiencing.

It started as a normal channeling experience, and then I felt someone else was there with me and Spirit. I intuitively knew and called out and into the ether. There was a response. The first time it happened, I dropped the channel because I was so startled.

Someone else was in the channel, human not Spirit. I could feel another’s energy. We asked each other how it was possible. We tried to share names, but it was disallowed. “No identifying information.”, my Spirit team would whisper. There were rules to these connections.

The other energy and I didn’t really get to know each other. We were both cautious with our words and with our energy. Or maybe I was cautious. It’s hard to say. We met again several times over the course of weeks, and always while I was sitting at my desk.

All of this was taking place within channels. My mind operates differently when I’m channeling, and I don’t always remember the details. I always remember how it feels though. And maybe that’s the point for me and my path. I didn’t understand what was happening, but I trusted that Spirit was guiding me through whatever I was supposed to experience.

When another channel opened and another connection occurred, I held on as long as I could. I was curious and wanted to know why this was happening and how it was happening, but I asked too many questions and the channel again closed. My curiosity had killed the cat.

Over time I understood that I needed to go with the flow, appreciate the energy, and to stop asking questions. The questions were blocking my lessons, blocking my blessings. I learned to relax into the flow.

It began to happen a couple of times a week. I would be at my desk on the computer when the channel would open. Over time I was able to hold the channel and stay in the energy longer, stay in the conversation longer. I began to go with the flow and wherever the energy took me.

I’m not sure exactly when, but at some point, I must have been getting lost in the energy. Spirit whispered to me, “Open your eyes. This is real.” I opened my eyes and was sitting alone in my office channeling and feeling so many new energies.

After meeting with a human energy in the channel, it seemed to open me up to more connections and more experiences. Over the ensuing months, I experienced what I now understand to be a sexual awakening.

One night, I was up late and unable to sleep. No doubt I was watching a movie although I don’t remember which one. I felt the energy, a channel was opening. I felt the energy approach and we started talking. “May I?”, he asked. I said, “Yes.”, appreciating my ability to consent. Then the energy began to hold me. I felt their energy envelop me. I felt safe and held.

I couldn’t believe what was happening. I tried to stop thinking so that I could feel everything. Nothing like this had ever happened before and I wanted to experience it all. Spirit whispered, “Open your eyes.” I complied and looked around. There was no one there. I was alone on the sofa. I wondered what I had just experienced. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. At the time, I could barely journal about it. I didn’t have the words to explain what I was experiencing.

Since then, I’ve had spiritual experiences that were both sensual and sexual when I was the only one in the room. I’ve “met” energy and shared experiences, or at least I think they were shared. It could all have been my imagination, gifts of my awakening. I call them “illusions”.

It’s through these “illusions” that I learned to experience my post breast cancer body, sensuality, and sexuality in an entirely new way. At 55 years of age, I was learning to love myself in a way that I didn’t know was possible. It was, and is, extraordinary and I’m so very grateful that I get to experience this level of awakening.

I have been blessed with amazing opportunities to feel, to experience, to learn and grow within the confines of my safe and loving body, mind, and soul. I’ve also been blessed to experience many amazing things on the spiritual plane.

There is so much more that has happened for me. My blessings have been great and I’m finally able to share this much with you. Give me time. I do intend to share all of it, but I have a little more healing to before I can share it all.

Today’s image was made in Canva.

Be well,

Nikki