Spiritual Awakening and Universal Protection

I don’t usually write about my personal life. Yes, I share almost everything about my spiritual life, a lot of my emotional life, but very little about my material life. And I will limit what I share now, but currently my material life is my greatest challenge, and the universe is protecting me. From me.

Once again, my material life has taken a downturn. The challenges have mounted in two areas of my life - love and money. I have felt blocked and unable to move forward for many years.

I did what I knew to do and worked with my inner team and spirit team. But no matter how many times I prayed and asked for guidance, nothing was made clear. Last night I received a message that seemed to speak directly to me and my current situation.

I was guided to a tarot reading. White Feather Tarot on YouTube created a reading titled, “What the Universe is About to Reveal to You”. It was strong intuitive guidance, and I knew the message was for me.

The reading was about a message that was still coming, but I received the intended message. It was clear. The Universe has been blocking me in at least two areas of my life, love and money, for years. The universe confirmed it and so did my intuition.

I’ve suspected the blockages for several months now. When housing costs first became a challenge, I began looking for jobs and signing up for freelancing sites. Nothing felt in alignment and nothing was moving forward.

I did all the things. Asked for guidance. Reached out for help. Checked the job posting sites. Used all the manifesting practices I know of. I cultivated new affirmations and mindsets. I even started doing things the opposite way.

When I noticed the stagnancy, I asked for guidance again. And I kept asking. Nothing seemed to be in alignment. Nothing I did moved me forward. The energy felt blocked. I felt blocked from life and felt unable to move forward.

The tarot message confirmed the universe had been blocking love and money to protect me. Then the universe confirmed they were blocking me. They were protecting me from myself.

The universe has a path for me. One that I have no control of, and one that I am in alignment with but can’t see or feel. Every other path is blocked to me.

The universe is protecting me from changing my path. Protecting me from using my free will to create the life I want. They knew that I would try and escape the current situation. And I vaguely remember affirming protection on my path, even from myself.

I realize that there is a plan for my life. I know that I control nothing in my life except how I respond and live it. I have had many beautiful and magical spiritual experiences. I have trusted the process and gone with flow. I have healed – body, mind, heart, and soul. My spiritual awakening has been one of the most important phases of my life.

I’ve said it to spirit, and I will write it here, I am grateful for the protection. I am grateful for the life I’ve been blessed with, but I am days away from becoming homeless. For months I have had no permanent housing. I am terrified, isolated, and have no idea how to navigate this life. And I’m having a hard time trusting the process that brought me here.

I’m also having a hard time processing it emotionally. Being blocked from love and abundance, being manipulated and neglected touches all my deepest wounds. Having healed, I accept it, but it doesn’t change the current situation.

My spirit team tells me to trust the process and that all is working out in my favor. I receive synchronicities that tell me I am loved, supported, protected, and guided. They are pretty words, but empty if I am not safely housed.

My wisdom tells me this is all part of the process. Grasshopper synchronicities tell me to a leap of faith is needed. Ladybugs tell me luck and fortune are on my side. Perhaps, something will come soon to change my life. Perhaps not.

To be honest with myself and the universe, I am tired of all of it. I am tired of my current situation. I am tired of waiting for things to change. I am tired of putting my faith, trust, and awareness into magic and words. I am tired of giving. I am tired of being strong and tired of crying.

In this moment, I have no more to give my path or purpose. I am depleted – spiritually, emotionally, and materially.

I don’t know what’s going to happen in the coming days. Maybe the universe will open for me. Maybe I will continue to be or feel blocked. I surrendered control a long time ago. And have no illusions, attachments, or expectations.

During my spiritual awakening process, I’ve become skilled at staying in the moment and letting things unfold. I know that I have no control over what happens in my life. I have surrendered countless times and will continue to do so.

I am taking things one moment at a time. I am choosing to trust that rejection is protection, and redirection. I am grateful for universal protection, and for the coming breakthrough.

I’m grateful you’re here. I love you.

Be well, beautiful soul, beautiful human,

Nikki