This holiday season was quiet for me, and it was exactly
what I needed it to be. I needed peace and quiet. I needed time to just be in
the in between. We had no decorations, and our meals reflected our traditions
as much as our cravings. It was a calm and peaceful Christmas and New Year’s
Eve, then on New Year’s Day things began to move forward in a big way.
Christmas Eve, I made cheese enchiladas with red
sauce, Mexican style rice, and refried beans. I grew up eating enchiladas for
Christmas Eve. It was my mother’s tradition and reminded me of my childhood
growing up in Phoenix, Arizona. The Mexican style rice was made just as my
mother-in-law made it, pink with tomato and chicken bouillion and studded with
carrots, peas, and corn. It was pure comfort food.
We ate and watched classic Christmas films on Turner Classic
Movies. I drank hot cocoa with marshmallows. It was quiet and peaceful.
Christmas Day, I made spicy orange-ginger chicken, my husband’s
favorite. (This recipe is so good. I’ll link it here for you.) It’s made with
fresh squeezed orange juice, chicken pieces that are marinated and sauteed, not
breaded. It has just the right amount of sriracha to heat it up. It’s garnished
with green onions to bring a bright green sharp flavor which balances the entire
dish. It’s fantastic and may be a new tradition.
I meditated daily, sometimes twice, and other than cooking,
grocery shopping, and watching classic films, I did little else during the holidays.
The plastic sparkly-ness of the holidays didn’t impress me this year. I noticed
that the things that I used to love were no longer calling me, energy was
I needed stillness and more solitude that my naturally introverted
self usually needs. I honored it all with the intention of loving myself and
providing myself that space and time to simply be.
I’ve been through this space that I call the “in between”.
At some point I realized that I was experiencing a dark night of the soul, but
it didn’t feel that dark. It felt like I needed a time out from the world. I
ignored social media. I shared no holiday messages. I thanked no one publicly.
It was all in my heart and shared with Spirit. I put myself first and ensured
that I gave only what I had to give and no more. The mantra in my head cheered
quietly, “Me first! Me first!”. As a former chronic over-giver, this is a big
New Year’s Eve was our 25th wedding
anniversary. A milestone. It too was as understated as Christmas. We went to
one of our favorite casual bar and restaurants, Chuey Fu’s. We enjoyed
good drink, good food, and good company. And we were home before dark. It was
like most other Saturdays, and it was what I needed, low key.
After falling asleep on the sofa a few times, I went to bed
early. I was in hermit mode again. The brief outing was enough for me. The
fireworks and countdown shows that I used to enjoy held no attraction for me. I
remembered my cat being scared and hiding under the bed from the loud bangs and
didn’t want to be a part of it. I wanted to sleep.
The things I used to love were falling away to make way for
the new and I allowed it. This is what it’s like when we’ve made it to the
other side of the in between, through the dark night of the soul, we begin to
let go of what no longer serves and begin to make way for what does.
New Year’s Day, or that evening to be more specific,
I noticed a shift. The day was unremarkable, we carefully and somewhat
successfully navigated the ice and snow to go grocery shopping. The rest of the
day was a normal, quiet Sunday. I did some indoor gardening and wrote for a
As day turned into night, the energy picked up a bit. I was
sitting at my desk on social media when I saw an image of a cat that looked
exactly like my cat Jack, a tuxedo, who passed away years ago. My energy
softened and I greeting him in the way I used to and then I felt him.
In an instant, I was in mediumship with Jack.
He stood on my desk. I petted him in his favorite ways, and
he moved in his usual ways. When he was satisfied, he stepped down from my desk
onto my lap and curled up in his usual way. I instinctively put my arms around
him and cradled him in my lap for a bit. I then petted his smooth, silky fur in
a way that used to soothe him to sleep. I sensed his purr and his warmth in my
lap. It was all so familiar as if we had never parted.
And then suddenly my body began to shake rhythmically with
energy work. When it stopped, I expressed gratitude for the energy work as I
caught my breath. Next, I received energy healing and performed co-healing on
the hip that I pulled and tweaked on the ice on the way home from grocery
store. I expressed gratitude for the blessing of healing.
But I had forgotten something. I tried to remember what I
had just experienced. I knew it was something that I wanted to remember so I
could write it in my journal. The energy
work and healing had clouded my thoughts. I tried to place myself in the energy
of the situation a short while before, but it wasn’t working. Then my third eye
began to ache. I rubbed between my eyebrows to massage away the pain, and I was
able to access that moment with Jack. The memory of the connection and
Next, Spirit and I had a conversation about how to access
information and memory. To summarize; time is irrelevant, connect with the
energy of that moment with the intention of retrieving it from the chakra
related to that energy. In this case it was psychic energy that I was trying to
retrieve, mediumship with Jack, that meant I needed to access the third eye
Spirit praised me for the work telling me, “You’re so fucking
smart.” And then my body shook with energy work again. When the energy quieted,
and my body calmed, I journaled and integrated the amazing events of the night. Afterwards, I checked the astrology and found that this happened
during a Mercury / Neptune aspect. It’s an aspect that favors spiritual
All New Year’s Day I had been letting blog post topics roll
around in my head. I wrote a draft of one and studied an outline that I wrote
earlier in the week. They left me wanting something…different. Sunday night
felt as if Spirit said “You want something to write about? We’ll give you
something to write about!”, and they did.
I am truly grateful for these beautiful experiences. If this
is how 2023 starts, I am looking forward to what the rest of the year will
I am truly grateful for everyone who reads my blog, views my
videos, or interacts with my work or social media in any way. Your energy is
felt. May your new year bring you safety, good health, and peace.
Yes, I know the message is a little late, but a hermit’s
The image today was made in Canva.