What I Know About Self-Love

Valentine’s day? Bah humbug. Yes, I am a bit of a Scrooge. It’s not that I don’t appreciate love. It’s just that lately the most important love to me has been self-love and that’s not what’s usually celebrated on Valentine’s Day.

Celebrating Self-Love.

Self-love didn’t come easy to me. Most of my life I played small. I didn’t know to love myself in a way that allowed me to be full-sized, my true self. That kind of love came much later in life. It is only now, in my 50’s, that I’m learning to love myself well.

I love myself not in that egoic self-centered way. The love that I have for myself feels like a reward for years of hard work. Won, not by default but, through effort. I cherish my hard-won love. I nurture it. 

I can look at my crinkled face and love it. I can see my scarred, post-cancer body and still love it. I can look back over the years with fondness as all has been forgiven. I can look forward without fear because love strengthens and grounds me. I can appreciate the work it took to get to this place in my life. I can appreciate my own love. 

What I Know About Self-Love.

Everyone’s path is different. Everyone’s experience is different, but this is what I know about self-love.

An unhealthy and unhelpful inner critic isn’t love.

Creating a new healthy and helpful inner dialogue is love.

Forgiveness is essential to self-love, as it is with any love.

We don’t need to know self-love BEFORE knowing love of another, but it does land differently.

We can develop self-love through deep appreciation and care.

It’s not love at first sight, it’s the kind of love that you invest in and grow.

Self-love can be trusted; we know the source.

Self-love feels like true love.

Self-love ensures that we will always be loved.


May you know love every day, not just a random Monday in February.

Be well,