The Remembering

A close-up image of snow that looks like infinite flakes of snow.

Missing Family in Spirit.

A few weeks ago, after my temper tantrum, my mom in spirit stopped coming to me. All of my family in spirit stopped connecting. It was quiet, and I knew that it served a purpose. I released attachment to the situation and released the stories that I had created about it.

Life went on, but I missed my family in spirit. I missed the physical connection, or at least the illusion of connection. I missed my mom’s thumb stroking me gently letting me know she was there and a big download was coming. I missed my dad in spirit squeezing my hand helping me through the big energies. And I missed my grandmother holding my cheeks and my uncle stroking and patting my hand.

I missed it all, and I knew it had a purpose that I wasn’t yet aware of. I trusted the process and let go of attachment. I went about my days and spiritual practices. We began to settle into this new phase of life. Then, after a period of quiet, I received a new touch.

One day, day while on my cushion, I felt both of my thumbs. They were pressing and rubbing against the side of my forefinger. When I became aware of it, I asked my intuition who it was, and received no answer. Instead, I found acceptance. I knew the energy would reveal itself to me when I needed it.

My thumbs continued to enter my awareness just before I received strong downloads, rubbing or holding tight to be with me during the energy. I still had no idea who, or what, was using my thumbs. I had no idea what they were trying to communicate, but I was grateful for their comfort. They continued to be a part of our experience for weeks.

The Remembering.

Sitting in power last Tuesday afternoon, I felt my thumbs tingle and then realized that I had been extending them. When awareness came, I acknowledged it by affirming my experience. It’s our way, mine and my spirit team’s, of communicating that I am receiving the messages just as intended. It’s a confirmation code.

My thumbs began to throb. I acknowledged my awareness of the throbbing. Immediately I felt like I was being pulled. The energy scrambled, or it’s more likely that I bounced out. New energy is hard for me to connect with. I often bounce out of it and back into myself with new connections. Then I came back into the energy.

Next, I arrived at what seemed to be a white, silvery cloud. The energy wavered as I tried to remain connected. I heard “attunement” and realized that we were aligning our energy frequency. I paused and allowed it to happen. I felt the energy tune in and out. It reminded me of when I was a kid, tuning the tv antenna, or like tuning an old radio with a dial. We tuned in and out until we found the sweet spot.

My inner vision cleared, and I perceived a vast sea of glowing souls, all the souls. Each looking like a perfectly puffy and glowing cotton ball. I heard “infinite souls”. I felt the souls closest to me come and greet me, “welcome”. They pulled on my thumbs and fingers. It had been the souls pulling and connecting with us through our thumbs.

The energy felt so real, I bounced out of the energy for a moment to look at my hands to see if they were in my outer vision, but no. I did see my hands reacting to the touch of those souls. My fingers reached and moved with their touch.

Back in the energy again and the first and only thing I thought to say was, “hi”. I felt like a human outlander in a sea of souls. Awkard. I went inward and called my soul, Flame, forward. I felt her jump up, smile, and wave joyfully at the infinite souls. I felt her joy, our joy.

Then I felt a wave of love. Every soul’s love was directed towards us. Flame and I took it in. We opened ourselves up to all of it. Waves of love poured into and all around us. It felt soft and white and pure.

And then we found out the meaning of all of it. Love.

I heard, “Love was all I ever wanted, but I did not need it. I have always been loved. I am love.” It was an awareness, something we said, more than something I heard. We basked in our own self-love.

In that moment I knew that this was the meaning of life. Love.

My mind started racing, and I began writing about what was happening to me rather than experiencing it. I released the excess thoughts and tapped back into the energy of the soul realm. I focused on my thumbs and re-connected.

We were back in the soul realm. I noticed that it felt like we were up in the front of the space and elevated from the others. A graduation ceremony came into my awareness. And I heard another word.

“Remembering.” I felt Flame take over. She said, “The veil is removed.”, and some other things that I no longer recall. But I got the message. I cried and released the human emotions of sadness and loneliness. I released the illusion of separateness.

We were always loved, we are love. We are an earthly example of Divine love. No matter how we were conceived, it was always with love of Spirit, and the love of the universe. We are love. We are never separated from love because we are love.

We stayed in our new awareness and in the flow of love for a while longer. But soon the energy of the experience faded. We left the soul realm with a full heart and a wide smile. And in an entirely new phase of life. We have remembered.

The Meaning of Life.

There was a time when if asked what the meaning of life was, I would have said something like “struggling and being alone”. Then there was a time when if asked, I would have said “work until you die”. But in recent years, I would have answered “love”. With this recent visit to the soul realm, that has been affirmed for me.

The meaning of life is to love and be loved. It is to love ourselves and love our life. It is to love each other and to love the natural world. It is to connect with and love the Divine within us. When in doubt, the answer is always love.


The image used for this post is from Canva. This is what the soul realm looked like. I remember the contours adding to the depth perception of the infinite. When I found this image, my soul and intuition flared. We knew it was what we had seen in the soul realm. What a beautiful and magical synchronicity.

I’m grateful you’re here. I love you.

Be well, beautiful soul,