Imagine this, you’re heading to an important meeting and in your mind all you can here is, “This is going to suck. It’s going to be hard and they’re going to ask you questions that you can’t answer. You can’t do this. They’re going to rip you to shreds. I hate this.”
Then imagine you’re heading into that same meeting and instead hear this, “I got this. It’s going to be great. I’ve done the work and I know what I’m doing. I can handle question that comes my way with ease. This is going to be great.”
Same mind, two very different energies. What do you think the outcome will be with the negative energies and thought processes? And then, with the positive energies and thought processes what do you imagine the outcome will be?
We know that the energy we project into the world has an impact on the energy we receive back. And here’s the thing, we manage our mind and the energy we put out. We are the ones who choose the thoughts. Our minds, the thoughts within them, can work in our favor and should be working to our advantage. Our thoughts should be supporting our goals, and we can make sure that they support us in every way.
Most of us have an inner critic. It’s often that shitty little nagging voice in our heads that chimes in with negative affirmations of all the things we suck at just at the wrong time. It’s that voice that tells us we can’t do things, or that we’re not good enough. That voice that reminds us of all the negative things we were conditioned to believe about ourselves.
Our inner critic lies. It’s often made up of the things we were told by people projecting their own traumas onto our life experience. When we dig into all the shitty things it says, they sound like our traumas. It’s the things we were taught to believe and then forgot that they weren’t true. Why do we believe the garbage that our inner critic says?
Let’s think of it this way, would we believe anyone else in our life that we knew lied to us? No, probably not. And we may even dispute the facts that the liar put forward. We may call them out or politely nod while knowing that were full of shit. In that case we would likely just agree to disagree and move on. We wouldn’t carry their words with us as fact, and we wouldn’t repeat their lies.
We can do the same thing with our inner critic. We can disregard what our inner critic says as negatively biased, or outright lies. We may even want to dispute the lies and push back on what our inner critic says to us. We may also just ignore our inner critic just like that person who lied to us.
We don’t have to agree with our inner critic, and we don’t have to listen to it either. We can simply disregard every shitty little thing it says, put it aside, and walk away. It’s then that we are free to add a better, more positive inner dialogue.
Inner Cheerleader, Nurturer, or General.
Once the inner critic is quieted or ignored into submission, we have the capacity to add more helpful inner dialogue. A cheerleader may be added. An inner nurturer may be what we need. Or, if there is a need, an inner general can help us stay on task.
We can choose our inner dialogue. We can choose the inner narrative for ourselves that supports us in whatever way we need. We know what we need in any moment, and we can build an inner team that can help us. We can walk into any situation with the inner dialogue that serves us, like an inner cheerleader to bring in good energy before we walk into that challenging meeting.
We can lean into an inner nurturer to have our needs met. It can have that soothing voice we need to hear with that gentle support. It can say the things we need to hear, even if we’ve never heard them before. We create our inner language. We can whisper our own sweet nothings. What is the one thing we long to hear? We can say that, or have our inner dialogue say that, to ourselves.
Need a little extra discipline? We can enlist an inner general to help us stay on task. A firm inner dialogue that can assist wherever we need a little push in the right direction and hold us accountable. We can create the firm, task-oriented language that helps us.
What do we want to hear? What would we love to hear? What do we need to hear? We can make that conversation in our inner team. It takes practice, but it is so worth it. It’s amazing what we can do with an inner team that supports us. And then, when our inner team is working for us, we can find inner peace and quiet.
Peace and Quiet.
Once we’ve learned to support ourselves, through our inner team, we have the energy and peace to do so much more. We can find the peace we long for, by knowing that we are responsible for our inner dialogue. We can turn it on or off and shift it to meet our needs in the moment. We find peace by ending the conflict with our inner critics.
With the help of meditation, we can learn to observe our many thoughts. We can watch our thoughts float by like clouds in the sky. We don’t have to get attached to them or believe them; we can just let them run through. We don’t have to get attached to them or make up elaborate stories in our minds. We can simply enjoy the peace and quiet.
Thoughts happen, it’s what our brain does well. We, being responsible adults, can create the inner dialogue that serves us best. We create our own life experience, and we can choose our inner dialogue. We can choose our inner energy and by doing that we choose the energy we put out into the world.
This is why we do the inner work. We do it to evolve, to change, to grow. We do it to become someone different than we were before. We do it to find peace and quiet within ourselves. We work not knowing how we will grow and still having faith in ourselves.
If you’re doing inner work, no matter what kind of work it is, don’t give up. Our inner work builds upon itself. We level up as we go. The work may not get easier, but we move forward and gain experience that helps us with whatever is coming next.
The picture used today tells the story of my inner team evolution. You can probably read the hesitant, fearful energy of my inner critic in the image taken BEFORE I did the inner critic work from spring 2020. The image with the big smile was taken of me AFTER I did the inner critic work from autumn 2020. Can you feel the difference in my energy? Can you feel the difference in the energy that I was projecting into the world?
If you’re ready to work on your inner critic, I can help. Check out my Consulting Service page for details and contact information.