I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t know it was coming. It just
happened and it’s taken me over a year to figure it out. Since 2019, I’ve been
experiencing a spiritual awakening.
It’s not what you think. I didn’t suddenly get religious.
Remember, I didn’t ask for an awakening. I was trying to figure out what I
liked to do. To get back in touch with myself after burning out and wanting to
change my career.
My intention was to get out of my head and into my heart. I
wanted to quiet my anxiety and start feeling my way through life. What happened
was life changing.
The “fuck it” Phase.
During the winter of 2019, I was tired of my anxiety and
fear. I was done with it and decided to start bypassing my fear and doing
There was an after party being arranged for after the
company holiday party. My introverted nature was (is) averse to large groups
and loud bars, but when asked I said, “fuck it, why not”. I went and had more
fun that I had in a long time.
After that, “fuck it” became my new answer for almost
everything that scared me, pissed me off, or caused anxiety. It was empowering
and life changing.
I felt like I could do anything, it was the first time I
consistently bypassed my fear. I felt fearless.
Fast forward to February 2021, I learned that my “fuck it”
phase is Stage 2 - Bliss, according to Christina Lopes’ 6 Stages of spiritual
The Stages by Christina Lopes DPT, MPH
So many people have experienced awakening that some people
have been able to discern patterns and document stages. Christina Lopes is one
of those people. She is a doctor, has experienced her own awakening, and is now
coaching, educating and helping others through their own awakenings.
Through her work she has documented 6 stages of awakening.
Stage 1 – The Wake Up – Sometimes due to external events and
sometimes spontaneously. In this stage, I remember being done with my own bull shit.
I was ready for change. This was sometime in 2019, or maybe earlier.
Stage 2 – Bliss – The heart is awakening. We feel connected
with emotions. Synchronicities begin to appear, and we begin to connect with
the universe directly. This was my “fuck it” phase. I was beginning to feel empowered.
Stage 3 – The Dark Night – AKA ego death. This is the
beginning of healing. This is when all my shadow work started. I worked on all
the areas of my life where I had been deeply hurt or traumatized. It was exhausting
and I did as much self-care as possible.
Stage 4 – The Void – This is the time and space between who
we were and who we are now. I went through these first four stages without
knowing what was happening to me. I knew I was healing but I didn’t know there
was a process or how to do it. It just happened. The void was a scary, empty,
lonely time. It’s part of the reason I choose to do this work. I want people to
know what’s happening and to help anyway I can.
Stage 5 – Groundedness – We become grounded in our knowing.
We are become are new self. This stage is about integration. In this stage, I’m
beginning to integrate from the inner work (Stage 3) and am getting more
comfortable with my new life. I am able to describe what’s happening and can
Stage 6 – Purpose and Life Mission – We have gone through
the journey and are committed to our soul’s path. I am so looking forward to
this stage. I can already see hints of my purpose. So good!
Notes About the Stages.
First let me say that the stages don’t play out so easily
and simply. Christina Lopes explains that some of the stages overlap or we can toggle
back and forth between some of them. And that has been my experience.
I had a long Stage 4 – Void late in 2020. And lately, more shadow
has come up for work. So that meant I have been back in Stage 3 – The Dark Night.
I am lucky though because I know what was happening. I understand that there is
more work and that I am going to be okay.
And this is why it’s important that I write about it, to
help people going through it. It’s often not easy and it’s not always clear
what is happening. After experiencing it for myself I can hopefully help others
through their awakening.
A Spiritual Awakening is Not Religious.
I’m not religious. There were times as a child that I was
exposed to religion, but it hasn’t been a part of my life for decades. My spiritual
awakening isn’t religious. It is a conscious awakening.
Steve Taylor has written 13 books on psychology and
spirituality. In a blog post dated February 9, 2021, Taylor describes spiritual
is a psychological phenomenon. It is a shift into a more intense and expansive
state of awareness, and into a higher-functioning psychological state.”
It’s not religious. It’s just that we see the world
differently. Once awakened, we begin to see everything differently. We are aware
in ways we weren’t before. Our senses perceive differently. Our relationships
change. Sometimes it seems as though everything changes.
Our conscious being has changed. It’s an extraordinary feeling.
Find Your Guides.
I went through my awakening alone. I was unprepared for this
in so many ways. I didn’t know people that talked about it and I didn’t have
tools to deal with it. But I was lucky in that I had resources to find my way
through it and find my guides.
I’ve mentioned Christina Lopes and Steve Taylor, but there
have been many more guides. Find your guides. Find people to talk to. Find people
to help you through.
And if you feel comfortable with me, allow me to help guide
You are not alone. There are many people going through the
same thing right now. It’s just perceived as weird or taboo. But it’s not. It’s
a normal part of life.
And there are people to help you through it. You don’t have
to awaken alone.
If you are reading this, you are likely experiencing an awakening. And if I can help you on that path, contact me. You are not alone.