Do you struggle with self-love, self-care or
You see people talk about it on social media, your friends
talk about it, but you just don’t feel it for yourself. You know you should
love and accept yourself, but you don’t FEEL it.
I get it, self-love, self-care and self-acceptance don’t
always come easily.
Let’s look at it from another perspective.
Self-love, self-care, self-acceptance is about the relationship
you have with yourself. And sometimes relationships are hard, even our relationship
with our self or ESPECIALLY our relationship with our self.
Let’s check in.
How is your relationship with yourself? Is it one that you
work on? Do you check in with yourself when you’re not well? Do you express
love or gratitude for yourself? Do you nurture your relationship? Do you trust
Asking that last part again, do you trust yourself?
You know that relationships without trust are a challenge. Some
would say that there is no relationship without trust.
Why do we leave out self-trust when talking about self-love,
self-care or self-acceptance? We should begin talking about our relationship
with our self by talking about self-trust.
Instead of focusing on self-care, self-love and
self-acceptance and skipping the trust part of the relationship, let’s step
back and consider this: Are you’re challenged
to love yourself because you don’t trust yourself?
Maybe your challenge isn’t self-love, self-care or
self-acceptance. Maybe it’s that you don’t trust yourself because you have yet
to create that part of the relationship with yourself.
What is trust?
Recently, I heard Brene Brown talking about the definition
of trust. She was talking about it in the context of our relationships with
others. But I also think that her definition applies to our relationship with our self.
Brene Brown uses the word BRAVING as an acronym to describe what
B – boundaries to your time and energy must be set and
honored for yourself
R – reliability, be reliable and show up for yourself
A – accountability, hold yourself accountable for your
actions towards yourself
V – vault, what goes in the vault stays in the vault
I – integrity, show up fully and wholly for yourself
N – non-judgmental, stop judging yourself internally and
G – generosity, be generous with yourself, for yourself
Let’s go a little deeper by considering these questions:
Boundaries - Are you setting boundaries with others for your
time and energy? Do you honor the boundaries that you set?
Reliability – Do you reliably show up for yourself? Do you keep
promises to yourself?
Accountability – Do you hold yourself accountable for your actions
Vault – Do you protect yourself? Do you have a sacred inner
space to be in?
Integrity – Are you showing up for yourself fully, wholly, consistently?
Non-judgmental – Do you judge yourself? Do you have a
judgmental inner dialogue?
Generosity – Are you generous with yourself? Do you give of
yourself to yourself freely?
What did you learn about yourself by considering these
questions? Are there areas of your relationship with yourself that you can improve
Maybe what we’ve been missing in the self-love, self-care,
self-acceptance realm is that the relationship with self must begin with self-trust.
What can you do today that will foster trust in yourself?