Finding My Freedom

Choosing Growth.

When my life started falling apart, I didn’t understand why it was happening. I thought my guidance had been wrong or that I had interpreted it incorrectly. I thought that maybe I had ruined my life by following my spiritual path.

To understand, I went inward and listened again to guidance. The overwhelming message was to trust the process. It was a challenge and an opportunity for me to grow. I chose growth.

I made the conscious choice to surrender to my path and my guidance. I chose my spiritual life over the destructive situation that was occurring in my life. Instead of giving up and running away, I asked my spirit team to fix it for me.

Then I continued the process of ending illusions, releasing attachments, and surrendering expectations. That too, was a challenge. Spirit told me that this was the phase during which most people quit the path. It was one of my greatest challenges.

Then my life took another perceived downturn. My growth made it easier to trust the process and flow with the changes. Even when my life seemed to be falling apart, I maintained my spiritual life. I trusted and went with the flow, but it wasn’t easy.

The pain I experienced inspired my ego mind to place blame and judgment. I raged against the person I thought had ruined my life. And I began to blame myself for following my spiritual path and guidance.

It didn’t take long before I abandoned the blame and judgment. It was a heavy burden that I was unwilling to carry. And I knew that there had to be some purpose in what I saw as my life falling apart.

I started reframing my thoughts and perspectives. I refused to suffer the illusions my mind had created. Again, I chose growth.

With that intention, my mind began to relax and untangle the pain. I cried and released. And then I found clarity.

They didn’t ruin my life. They set me free.

Multiple Purposes.

Each phase of the destruction of my material life served a distinct purpose – multiple purposes. Some of the purposes were designed to change my situation. Others were meant to challenge and grow me spiritually and emotionally.

All of it was happening at the same time. Challenges and changes and growth co-mingled and were experienced simultaneously. It is no wonder that people give up. It was exhausting at times and confusing most of the time.

I persevered through it all. My faith and trust deepened and expanded. As a result, my spiritual and emotional lives were thriving. Even as I perceived my material life was crumbling and falling apart.

Through it all, I was never alone. My spirit team was guiding me through each internal shift and external challenge. I was fully loved, supported, protected, and guided on my path.

Freedom.

The price of my freedom was not vigilance, but the destruction of my material life. I watched it fall apart around me while being guided to grow inwardly. Learning to not suffer the destruction but to let it make me stronger and more resilient.

The gift of freedom was the deepening and expansion of my spiritual and emotional life. Learning to rely on my faith and guidance was a gift. Learning to surrender and go with the flow was a gift.

Becoming a version of myself that could withstand not knowing where my life was taking me was growth. Becoming comfortable with not knowing where my life was taking me was the karmic payoff.

I have no doubt that all of this is preparing me for whatever is coming next in my life. What that is, I do not know. What I do know is that it will be filled with love, support, protection, and guidance.

I also know that I am free of my past. Old karmic cycles have closed, and new karmic cycles have opened. New experiences and a life that resonates with the current version of me are coming. And I also know that I am prepared for whatever comes next.

I am free. I am free to create the life that I have always dreamed of. And I get to co-create it with my spirit team and my soul.

As I was writing this post the message I received was, “Now is the time to climb out of homelessness and poverty.” As an American, I pray that this will be possible. Because I find myself in a familiar situation, my inner world is thriving while my country is crumbling around me.

Gratitude.

I am grateful you’re here, truly. The month of June brought people from 104 countries to the Exploring Spirituality blog. It is a reminder that there are many of us waking up and exploring spirituality even during these strange times.

Remember to bookmark the Exploring Spirituality main blog page and come back soon.

I’m grateful you’re here. I love you.

Be well, beautiful soul and human,

Nikki