Deep Dives

A diver in blue waters with sparkling bubbles rising to the surface above them. The water is shades of deep blue. There is a pod of dolphins swimming deep in the distance.

This week has been eventful. The full moon and active sky brought strong energies of endings and new beginnings. I learned so much about myself and grew in unexpected ways. Each one was a deep dive in an aspect of myself.

Aspects of myself - spiritual, emotional, material - were brought up into my awareness. Each was brought to light so that I could move through them in new and different ways. Some were scary but moved through with guidance. Some were illuminating and provided clarity.

All of the changes reminded me how challenging a spiritual awakening is. No doubt Spirit is trying to show me that I am doing well and ready for new phases of life and new blessings. Knowing that, I allowed it all. In the end it brought me back to myself.

Spiritual. 

The deep dives began with a blessing. I received awareness that an energy I had been experiencing for months was Mom Spirit. Tears burned my eyes and my heart burst with both ache and love. I cried in gratitude to have her spirit back with me. 

I had lost contact with my mom’s energy a few years ago. Even though I knew it served a purpose, I was sad to lose her again. It was her energy that helped me through my early days of healing. Her energy held me as I released the deepest of pain.

This week I realized that it was Mom Spirit’s energy that had been holding my hand through recent painful experiences. Although to be clear it was me holding my own hand but it was her energy that I felt in my awareness.

Soon after realizing Mom Spirit’s energy, I began receiving messages and synchronicities about receiving, trusting, and following guidance. I often receive these messages, but now it felt stronger and more intentional. 

I took notice and began to place greater awareness on the guidance I received. It was only in hindsight that I realized I was being prepared for more deep dives, more healing and growth. And being prepared for a challenging conversation.

Emotional.

One of the aspects we were diving into this week was my emotional life. I re-focused on what I needed emotionally. It was a review of what wasn’t working and a return to what was working. 

Spirit was reminding me of something I had been trying to manifest for years. My efforts have ebbed and flowed and changed as I evolved. But the effort to manifest new love and a new life is always there. 

The deep dive allowed me to reconnect with the manifestation energy. It reminded me of my goal. It also reminded me of how far away my current situation is from that goal. The disparity was clear as was the guidance I received.

I was guided to have a challenging conversation. To speak about how I felt to someone who doesn’t care, or rather can’t care in the way that I need. To be quite honest, the thought of having the conversation scared me.

Rather than ruminate, I called on my soul for guidance. I set the intention that my soul would speak for us and that all that needed to be said would be said. But still I couldn’t sleep knowing the task ahead.

To avoid ruminating, I watched a film. A fairy tale that turned into a pathway to manifesting energies. The past and the future were dancing around each other on screen, in my awareness and in my thoughts. 

Then I had new awareness that allowed me to reframe the challenge. It was practice for the future. The past abuse had made important conversations nearly impossible. But if I could do it under current circumstances, I could do it under any circumstances. 

The next day, the conversation that Spirit was guiding me to happened. I said all that I needed to say. I shared how I felt. It wasn’t received well, but that didn’t matter. I was uplifted by sharing myself and my feelings.

I followed guidance and it allowed me to heal, release, and grow. I felt like I was stepping into my power. But I was tired and in need of rest. And then a breakthrough came with new awareness.

Material.

As I was resting, I watched some YouTube videos. One showed up in my feed that didn’t resonate on its surface but my intuition flared. I knew it meant there was a message for me. 

The video was by Christina Lopes and was titled “Prayers Don’t Pay the Bills”. The main message was about money mindsets and why spiritual people struggle with money. But she said something that resonated deeply with me. It was the message I was guided to hear.

When I heard this one thing from Cristina Lopes’ video, it all clicked for me:

“This inability to work during a spiritual awakening doesn’t happen to everyone. But it is quite common for people to experience (a) temporary financial crunch when they’re doing deep healing work. Especially if they come from a lot of childhood trauma. But what’s interesting is that even when spiritual people go through these temporary financial constraints during an awakening, they still have the abundance of the universe there to always help. Because abundance doesn’t always come through money.” 

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you may know that this year I became unhoused. I was evicted from my apartment. Then resources came through and I was able to live in a hotel. Then when the money ran out, I was provided for again. An opportunity came up to move to a different state and stay with family members.

Even though I have been unable to find work or generate income during my spiritual awakening, my material needs have always been met. Things just show up for me and I have everything I need. My healing, growth, and purposes (like this website and blog) have always been provided for.

I have been blessed with abundance throughout my spiritual awakening. From big things like housing to small things like skin care. When I expressed a material need, it was provided for. When it happened, I would describe it as magic, but it was always a blessing of abundance.

Universal abundance flows through me. It also has kept me where I needed to be to ensure that I was having the experiences I needed to continue my spiritual awakening process. Had my path been any different, I would not be where I am now. 

It was the deep dive related to material abundance that I needed to more fully understand my path and process. It was what I needed to appreciate the abundance I have been blessed with.

Deep Dives.

This past week has brought deep dives into my spiritual, emotional, and material lives. Each was a blessing. Each showed me something about myself. Each preparing me for something new.

Then, without warning, I was sent on an errand. A little shopping trip, by myself. There was no one with me to weigh me down energetically. I was free for a little while and I felt free. 

Each step of the way was guided by my intuition. A long walk in cool morning air. A walk through the garden center to see the autumn blooms. A trip inside to see the lush green indoor plants. Seeing plants that I used to have in my indoor garden felt like visiting old friends. 

By the time I left the garden center, I was in a high vibration. There was a song in my awareness about a perfect day. I felt like myself again for the first time in a long while.

The higher vibration aligned with the love and life that I had been working to manifest for so long. I felt it and experienced it. I moved with it as if it were already in existence. For the first time in a while it felt close to fruition. 

This week’s deep dives allowed me to heal, release, and grow. They restored me. For the first time in too long to remember, I felt like myself again. 

Connection and Gratitude. 

Remember to bookmark the Exploring Spirituality main blog page. I would love for you to come back soon and often.

Connect with me on social media. I share links to all new blog posts on Mondays and most Fridays. Or search for me, “Nikki DeForest” to find me. 

I’m grateful you’re here, witnessing my purpose. May you discover your purpose.

I love you.

Be well, beautiful soul and human,

Nikki