New Beginnings and Purpose Fulfillment

New Beginnings.

Tarot’s Fool. Card 0. The beginning of a new journey. The beginning of a new story. 

The 1st, April Fool’s Day. It was a busy and challenging day. I felt on the verge of losing my shit by midday. And expressed the most intense energy with a silent scream alone in my room. 

The day brought a huge purge. An expression of all that had not been previously expressed. What was ready to be released. It was a lot. The pressure in my daily life has become extreme at times. For most of it, I am on my own caring for someone who couldn’t care less for me. 

The best part of my life is spent inward. It is my inner life that sustains me now. My strength and ability to mask the pain carries me through most days. Spirit and soul are with me. Always there within me.

My spiritual life continues to move forward. Towards what, I have no idea. Just forward. The energy is strong and the cycles are intense. It’s almost as if we are preparing for something. The next thing. Through it all I am fully loved, supported, protected, and guided by Spirit in all forms along with my soul.

But even with the support of all things, life just happens. Through no fault of my own, my life has changed. The path I was on just a few weeks ago now seems far away. All the shifts and all the changes in my personal life had me feeling intense emotions.

Some parts I moved through mindfully and some I released through silent screams. Some of it I talked through with my soul and tried to figure out this new life I find myself in, but the answers were yet to come. Then my ego mind tried to take over and that’s when I refused to repeat old patterns. Instead I tried a different way. 

I had one of those I-surrender-Spirit-take-the-wheel moments. It was time for me to let go of the old and welcome new energies. And then I realized that the synchronicities that had been repeating, promising a purpose fulfillment, had stopped.

Purpose Fulfillment. 

For a week I had received repeating numerical messages that meant fulfillment of one of my soul’s purposes. It repeated so frequently that I confirmed it intuitively. Yes, fulfillment of a purpose was near. 

Then, April Fool’s Day and the big purge and silent screams. Then some peace. A rest day and some quiet. I saw that number again and realized that it had stopped after a week of repeating an extraordinary number of times. 

I confirmed it intuitively. Yes, the synchronistic message had stopped indicating that we had fulfilled a purpose. One that we had no awareness of yet, but would in time. 

Awareness came a short time later in the form of a video titled, “Gen X is Done: The Breaking Point No One Saw Coming” by Gen X Unfiltered. As an early Gen X, this video resonated with so much of my own life experience. But then something he said later in the video struck me. 

“We’re not waiting for the world to get better. 

We’re building a life that doesn’t need it to.“

That’s how I feel about pursuing our soul’s purposes. Why wait for the world to get better. Living in it is challenging enough. Why not build a life for ourselves now. One that resonates with us in whatever way that looks.

That was the purpose that I had fulfilled. Making this extra challenging time in my life work for me. Finding peace within myself amongst the chaos of a life that I didn’t choose.

Healing, growing, and continuing on my spiritual path. Surrendering and trusting the process for the umpteenth time. That’s the purpose that I fulfilled, and with that a new journey begins.

The Fool card from the Rider-Waite-Smith deck has the sun and has a lot of yellow. These are indicative of optimism and happiness. The dog represents companions and helpers. The satchel they carry indicates they have all that they need and all else will be provided for. 

My natal Sun is in Aries. I love new beginnings. And I am so very ready for one that aligns with me. A new beginning that I chose.

Gratitude and Connection. 

I’m grateful you’re here. I love you. 

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Be well, beautiful soul and human,

Nikki