If you follow me, you know that I am on a mission to quiet negative inner noise. I believe that to get through this pandemic, social injustice and the current political climate, we need to have clear minds. We need to build new structures and a new way of doing things that works for all people. And to do that we need to quiet the quiet noise.
Self-judgment and self-shame are a form of negative inner noise. The judgment and shame can come from our inner critics, but it may also be our own inner dialogue. It may be how we talk to ourselves.
We often judge ourselves harshly. Does your inner dialogue sound like any of these?
“I don’t deserve credit or recognition. I haven’t done anything special”
“Wait! I need to do it again, it’s not perfect.”
“I suck at this!”
“I’m not pretty enough…smart enough…or anything else enough”
All our lives we are taught to be a certain way and that things are supposed to be done a certain way. We are programmed to be in a way that is acceptable to society and our social groups.
Here’s the thing, that programming doesn’t necessarily match our day to day realities.
Our lives our challenging. We are finding new work, learning to work from home, learning to manage our children’s education, learning to keep ourselves safe during the pandemic and how to stay together while we are physically apart.
Show yourself compassion for all the challenges you’ve weathered this year! The last thing we need is to judge ourselves and place shame on ourselves!
If any of this resonates with you, I invite you to practice self-compassion.
The first step to quieting self-judgment and self-shame is to pay attention to your thoughts. Be aware of your thoughts, actions and biases. Approach your thoughts without judgment or shame. Just let them be.
Next, sit quietly, wherever you are, put your hand on your heart and take a deep breath, exhale slowly.
Give yourself compassion. Tell yourself “I am enough. I am who I am supposed to be. I am doing my best in this moment. I offer myself compassion.” Lean into that self-compassion, feel it for yourself.
Repeat this practice each time you feel the judgment and shame creeping into your thoughts.
You are enough exactly how you are now and where you are now.
You are who you are supposed to be right now in this moment.