Emotions and Gorditas

I knew it was coming, a purge, a cleanse. The day before I had set the intention as I was walking along the small lake in the park near my boarding house. I wanted to purge all that no longer resonated, all that no longer aligned, and all that was heavy and dense. 

The next day was quiet and I was restless. I was guided to a combination of food prep and a project to keep my mind active and myself busy. For the first time in my life, I was going to make corn gorditas. I had the few ingredients required - Maseca flour, salt, hot water, and a little oil. 

I had just cleaned the kitchen in the boarding house so I guess it was meant to be. My intuition confirmed it. After watching a few YouTube shorts, I felt ready to get started making one of my favorite Mexican foods. 

In the kitchen I put on the kettle to heat the water and used the pot from my Instant Pot as a mixing bowl. No measuring cups meant I had to feel the dough to know if it was right. As I kneaded, I checked in with my hands. Crumbly meant the dough was too dry and needed more water. Smooth and soft meant good hydration. When the dough felt good, I let it rest in the pot while my cast iron skillet heated up.

Over the years I’ve watched many videos about how to make and form the gorditas, so I felt pretty confident. The first one was a little too small. The second one was a little too big. The third one was just right. 

As they cooked, I hovered over the pan, touching and testing to see if they were done. I pulled out the first one and placed it on a plate to cool just enough to slice and form the pocket. I reached for another clump of dough and began to form it into a ball.

My body arched. My chin reached up towards the ceiling. My mind went blank. I was in mediumship. My hands continued to form a perfect little ball of dough. She was there with me, Olga. She was guiding me through the process. “The better the ball, the better the gordita.” 

I wet my hands slightly and rolled the dough between my palms until I had the perfect little ball. Then I patted the dough between my palms to form a disc. The rhythm and soft slapping sound reminded me of the game of pattycake I played as a girl. It was soothing and I began to cry. 

Big tears were rolling down my cheeks as I blunted the edge of the disc of dough in my hands. “The thicker edge will be easier to cut.” I oiled the dough lightly with my hands and then placed it into the hot pan. Then checked on the others that were cooking. 

While standing over the stove, I allowed myself to cry and release all that was ready to be released. I thanked Olga and felt her love as I continued to form and cook the gorditas. I let her presence purge the heavy dense energies from my body, mind, heart, and soul.

Once the gorditas were cooked and the kitchen was clean again, I asked Spirit and soul a question. “Were we purging old energies or current energies?” The answer came intuitively as I said the words “current energies”. I understood.

I had been storing emotions that needed to move and were ready to go. The heavy dense energies of my situation, and disappointed expectations of what I wanted my life to be, had been building for days. I needed to express my emotions. Olga helped me do that as I made gorditas for the first time. 

Our emotions need to flow. In coaching class they called emotions energy in motion. They are energy and can only be contained for so long before they flow. Distraction is only temporary. It is so much better to channel them than to let them flow out of control.

This time of year many of us are navigating a range of emotions. The highs and the lows. Emotions such as love and happiness are easy to express. Grief and disappointment are emotions we tend to hold in as they are harder to express.

Regardless of the emotions we find ourselves experiencing, we must process them. We must acknowledge them, allow them to be seen and heard and expressed. Even if only to ourselves. 

We must honor all that is happening for us. Spiritually, emotionally, and materially. Facing it bravely, or with help, or with tears falling into dough. Every experience is sacred. Every moment of our lives is a sacred expression of the Divine. 

It’s going to be all right. This too shall pass. We will love again. We will experience abundance again. We are going to manifest the life we seek and resonate with. We are also allowing our human experience, our emotions, to flow. 

I ate the gorditas with homemade refritos and cheese. Someone in the house surprised me with some guacamole. All together they were delicious and comforting, and just what I needed that day. 

I know now that I was being prepared for things to come during Christmas Eve and Day. I invite you to come back on Monday, I will share all about the Christmas gifts I received from Spirit. 

Thank you, Olga. I am grateful for your love and thank you for making gorditas with me.

The image is mine and of the very first gorditas I have ever made.

Connection and Gratitude. 

Remember to bookmark the Exploring Spirituality blog page. I invite you to come back on Mondays and most Fridays for new blog posts. Messages from The Ancestors are published as received and when guided. 

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I’m grateful you’re here. I love you.

May you feel safe to express your emotions.

Be well, beautiful soul and human,

Nikki