A Thanksgiving Gift

Intuitive Messages. 

There are boxes stacked along the wall of my room in the boarding house. In truth there are boxes stacked along every wall. These boxes though are opposite the bed and in my line of sight as I sit and write. One of them has my hurried scribble, “Nikki’s Closet”. Another is a box that once carried a gift of apples to someone’s door. One was bought at one of those big box stores.

In the past week an intuitive message was delivered through the boxes. “Nikki’s close.” The possessive form became a contraction telling that I am close. That something was close. My awareness brought me to that message over and over throughout the week. Then a couple of days before Thanksgiving, the message changed. 

Along with the message “Nikki’s close”, Spirit and intuition added the “gift” from the apple box. I almost missed it until I found myself staring at the box for too long to be anything other than an intuitive message. I read it out loud acknowledging and expressing gratitude. “Nikki’s gift is close”. That message repeated for two days. 

My detachment game is strong these days and I let the messages come but assigned no meaning, no expectation as to what I was close to or what gift was coming. I let it be knowing that whatever was coming was coming in Divine timing. And knowing that whatever was coming was in my best and highest good.

The night before Thanksgiving had been filled with strong downloads. I tried to relax in bed but my body rocked with the incoming energy. For a while I let it jolt and contort me, but then I remembered something. As the energy continued to pour in I set the intention. “I receive this energy with ease and gratitude. I receive this energy with ease and gratitude. I receive this energy with ease and gratitude.”

With the intention the energy softened and became more comfortable. My body relaxed and the downloads continued late into the night. Eventually sleep came and I was grateful.

Thanksgiving Morning.

I woke up on Thanksgiving morning with deep gratitude for everything. Almost as soon as my eyes opened, I was expressing gratitude for my life. For the warmth in my room provided by a tiny space heater. The warm blankets. The big warm scarf wrapped around my neck and ears. My peaceful sleep and the strong energy from the night before.

Instead of my daily practice of affirmations and gratitude, the impromptu gratitude practice continued. It expanded from my current experience to include my spiritual awakening and all the energy, people, places, and situations that helped me along my path. I felt overwhelmingly grateful for all things - for everything.

Suddenly in my awareness I saw ripe red raspberries glistening in the sun. And then the farm. My hands held each other tightly and squeezed. I knew it was my grandma coming through in mediumship. It was the first time my grandma had come through on her own without assistance and she came with messages.

“You have done what none of us have ever been able to do.” At first I didn’t understand, but then I sensed my current situation, poverty. Awareness of our generational poverty came through. Grandma repeated and expanded on the message.

“You have done what none of us have ever been able to do. You have stayed loving and kind through poverty.” 

I began to cry and release energies I didn’t know I was carrying. Love from my family in spirit, the acknowledgment, allowed me to release it all. 

My memory, or awareness, went to a conversation I had with Spirit and soul a few days earlier. While walking in the neighborhood, I asked a question. “If we broke the generational cycle of poverty, why am I still experiencing poverty?” It was a sincere question. I wasn’t angry and it had no emotional charge. I was curious. 

Back in the room my sense was that grandma’s message was the answer to that question. She was coming through to confirm that I had broken the cycle of generational poverty. I also sensed a deeper meaning to the message.

Next Spirit showed me shopping the day before Thanksgiving with my inner light shining throughout the store and in my interactions with the people. They showed me at the bus stop with my face finding the sun and absorbing the warmth. They reminded me of the conversation I had with myself at that bus stop. 

I had been laughing about how I fit in nowhere. I don’t fit in with the poor people. I don’t fit in with the rich people. I didn’t fit in at the jobs I’ve had. I don’t fit in with any job now. And I never fit in with the relationships I have had. And in that moment at the bus stop, I found it highly entertaining. I laughed and imagined myself a unicorn. Unique, magical, and having no real sense of belonging anywhere or to anyone. I laughed and loved myself for how unique I am.

Back in my room with my grandma on Thanksgiving morning, I realized the message. I had found my true self while in poverty. I hadn’t let it harden me or make me bitter. I didn’t allow it to define me. I grew, not in spite of it, but regardless of it. And through all of my deconstruction and hardships, I remained on my spiritual path. Through it all I became the version of me that my soul came here to become. I learned to love myself as deeply as we can - body, mind, heart, and soul. That was the message.

In my awareness I heard grandma repeat, “You stayed loving and kind through poverty”. One by one my family in Spirit came into my awareness. Mom, dad, uncle Lyle, grandpa. My grandpa came through more strongly than ever and I heard grandma say, “He is so proud of you.” He stepped forward in my awareness in a form of embrace. Then Olga and Isidro came forward. All of my family in Spirit was there with me. They poured their love into me. 

I cried and cried. Their love pushed away all of the fear, doubt, and sadness that I didn’t know I was still carrying. Their love was beautiful and magical and deeply healing.

Then another message came. Grandma came to the front and center of my awareness. Someone else had been with my family in Spirit. A tall, masculine energy was with them. I didn’t know if it was another family member or someone else. Grandma’s next message explained. 

“We are sending you a gift. A perfect fit.” It reminded me of a conversation that my mom and I had in mediumship a few years ago. I knew what it meant and began to cry again. Gratitude began to flow through me and I expressed it.

Before grandma left we took a tour of her farmhouse. The one that she had designed in the 1970’s. The familiar kitchen. The table where played Trivial Pursuit as a family. Then we went out back to the giant raspberry patch. We went to her gardens - the one behind the house and the one in the field. Time fast forwarded to after my grandma had passed. I was visiting the farm when my aunt had breast cancer. I was there to help her while uncle Lyle was busy with the harvest. My favorite tiger lilies by the driveway. The frogs that sprang up when it rained too much when I visited as a little girl. We walked through so many beautiful memories of the family farm.

Mediumship faded and I sat in the warm afterglow processing all of the messages. My awareness went to another one of the boxes against the wall in my room. Just to the left of the box labeled for my closet, and the gift box of apples, there is another box. This one is from Lowe’s. It is one that you buy for storage. It is labeled “medium”.

The message was there all along. “Nikki’s close to receiving a gift of mediumship”. 

I realized then that along with mediumship, I had experienced a life review and a celebration with my family in Spirit. It is a sign that I am about to move forward in a meaningful way on my spiritual path and in my life.

The image is mine and of those boxes. Sometimes my awareness still goes to “Nikki’s Close”. I guess I will find out what that means in Divine timing. 

Connection and Gratitude. 

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I’m grateful you’re here. I love you. 

Be well, beautiful soul and human,

Nikki